the person that i was .

i cant deny my past , only accept it happened to make the person i am today. i am ashamed? sometimes but that was a time when i couldn't cope. i defiantly wouldn't say i was proud however that was my mindset at the time and how i had been feeling for years. never the less its made me , me . my past will  be the shadow of the person i am . i have accepted it .

Wearing a fake smile

I've always found it hard to open up to people , i guess i am very secretive. lately i feel as if i am closing down and becoming the person i used to be . i wear a fake smile and dress it with a fake laugh and inside i just don't know what to feel . oh i hate sounding down. i just want my confidence to flourish but when it does someone always knocks you down . note to self " let them grumble; that's how its going to be", i mean by this be the person you want to be and let NO one put you down or control you as  you are the pilot to your life .I just wanted to say whenever your down you can still get up , even if getting there is a great emotional journey , you will eventually get there . 

phoebe x

a handful of mind

I really don't know how a blog starts but here goes ... i guess a introduction would be the idea . urm my name is phoebe i am 17 years old and a Sixform student in year 12 . i study art and history , although i did start the year off with an additional two subjects; textiles and photography. but i found the work exhausting and i promised my self that this year i wouldn't think if i failed it was the end , like i believed so last year. oh i am encouraged to pick up textiles and photography again next year , the joys ahha. I don't know where i will end up in life i just want to enjoy freedom , that pretty much explains my blog name . i have no idea where my blog will go from here but i hope it only can get better :).

phoebe x