Wearing a fake smile

I've always found it hard to open up to people , i guess i am very secretive. lately i feel as if i am closing down and becoming the person i used to be . i wear a fake smile and dress it with a fake laugh and inside i just don't know what to feel . oh i hate sounding down. i just want my confidence to flourish but when it does someone always knocks you down . note to self " let them grumble; that's how its going to be", i mean by this be the person you want to be and let NO one put you down or control you as  you are the pilot to your life .I just wanted to say whenever your down you can still get up , even if getting there is a great emotional journey , you will eventually get there . 

phoebe x